


Luck of the Addams'

by stasmasm



Category: Addams Family - All Media Types
Genre: Apple computers, Boss bitch, F/M, Family Bonding, Family Fluff, Friday The Thirteenth, Mentions of Chernobyl, Mentions of Violence, Version introductions, pet snake
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-11
Updated: 2019-08-11
Packaged: 2020-08-14 07:35:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20188639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stasmasm/pseuds/stasmasm
Summary: How will the Addams family prepare for the Friday the thirteenth celebrations? Find out what the family has become as they celebrate in the most unlucky of ways with a smile.





	1. Chapter 1: Shopping for mirrors

**Author's Note:**

> New writer so wish me luck. if you like it let me know cause i would love to make it a series.  
⦁ Fester and Dementia from family values  
⦁ Fester is Gomez's brother  
⦁ Grand-mama is Morticias mother  
⦁ Morticia is Jewish and speaks Yiddish and French.

Pubert Addams stood before the baroque framed mirror. The silver plating slightly worn in places, showing the dark grey underneath. Leaning in closer, Pubert watched himself run his fingers over the straight, white blond hair of his high pony tail and adjust the neck line of his white, long sleeve t-shirt dress.  
"You look wonderful as always, Ketsele." His mothers kind and shadowed voice rang almost melodiously behind him. "To think; we were so worried when you were a baby and I disapproved of Debbie's pastels. A gift really. Even I can be wrong sometimes and you my dear, are a true Addams." Looking to his mother's smile in the mirror, he spun to be cocooned in her open arms, head resting comfortably on her shoulder.

"I often wonder if I took after aunt Ophelia? Her light hair, love of daisies." Pubert said as he straightened. Standing a couple of inches taller than his mother thanks to his platform heels.

"That could be true as well, we will never really know." Taking his hand, Morticia turned towards the mirror Pubert had been facing.

" What do you think?" He asked.

"Yes, It's perfect for tonight and we can keep it to use as a mirror afterwards." Glancing at the rest of the thrift store, Morticia pondered, forefinger tapping her cheek as her middle finger and thumb grasped her chin. "For the eight of us," she began to gesture around the room. "this one, those four frame less mirrors over there, that frightful pink one in the corner and these two smaller mirrors right here. I think they would be lovely in the mud room, in that empty corner above the bench; iron and rust, they will fit right in. Do you think we should purchase a hand mirror for thing?" Pubert glanced at his mother, her brows turned down in contemplation.

"Of course, there are some in the glass at the counter, we will get one as we check out." Morticia lightly clapped her hands together.

"Perfect. I do love this store; The buzzing of the fluorescent lights, all of which a different shade or brightness, the faded mustard yellow and the smell of the butchers next door. It's where we found your mattress you know." Pubert nodded in agreement before his face turned to one of pleasant surprise.  
"Really? I do like that mattress, none of the mattresses in those 'traditional' stores have those prominent springs in interesting arrangements. How any one sleeps on those things, I will never know." It was Morticia's turn to nod in agreement before they both made their way to the counter to pay for the one of the nights favourite activities.

...

It took two trips between the two of them to remove the mirrors from the back of the hearse and set them up in a circle around the edge of the moonroom. The usual furniture that sat there had been moved the night before in preparation. Lurch had placed the closed ladder near the door before he had left the night before and grand-mamma brought their boxes up from storage some time during the day. Looking around, Pubert smiled. Tonight was going to be a good night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ketsele is suppose to be kitten in Yiddish.  



	2. Chapter 2: What's for dinner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Getting dinner ready

Walking into the kitchen, Pubert breathed heavily as the smells of the oven and stove consumed the room. 

"It smells wonderful Grand-mamma." The woman turned from stirring her pot to face him with a smile. Her grey hair floating like spiders silk in a gentle breeze, her thin lips like a beautifully painted crack. She may have lost time but like a fine wine, she only got better with age. Pubert hoped it was genetic. He would never have the beautiful sharpness or length her nose had but he could still hope.

"Thank you Pubert dear, the Foxglove you grew are making for an excellent soup. I don't think I've had such vibrant soup since the blood moon bloom of 1896. I was but a child then." Grand-mamma's croacky yet shrill voice, so filled with nostalgia. Pubert brushed the complement off with a wave of his pale hand. 

"It's nothing Grand-mamma, it's all thanks your charged moon water. it really was quite smart to make so much during the super blue blood moon." His grandmother hummed in agreement. "What else are you making?" Grand-mamma excitedly turned to the oven, standing to the side so that Pubert could join her looking inside. 

"Pig brain roast with triple C pasta. cauliflower, cabbage and crickets, and for dessert, sugared rhubarb and whipped sow's cream." Her grin was filled with cheer. They had spent a long time waiting and experimenting so they could make the perfect cricket meal themselves. After their supplier went out of business they had no idea what they were going to do. 

"You're not cooking the rhubarb are you?" He looked at her with questioning concern. They had tried cooked rhubarb when it regained popularity many years ago, they all preferred it raw. 

"No dear, of course not. What kind of weirdo do you think I am?" Her shocked face was met by a fond smile, one which she soon returned. Hearing the clicking of heels, they both turned as Morticia descended the stairs into the kitchen. Her usual gentle smile across her face. 

"The moonroom is all ready for tonight. The umbrellas as laying next to the mirrors, salt shakers and the horse shoes and I made sure to open the ladder in the doorway on my way out of the room. Did Wednesday and Pugsley say what time they were coming home tonight?" The black spider silk lace of her dress seemed to glide across the floor instead of being dragged. Pubert knew it was just lace, no wires or anything else. He made a mental note to ask his mother how she did that one day, maybe is was just a physical manifestation of her grace. He really did love this family. 

"Yes. They both said they would aim to be home by 6.30." A stray thought crossed Puberts mind, changing his expression to one of confusion and wonder. "Mother?" Morticia hummed in response before adding. 

"Yes, mon chaton?" The french she used, rolling so easily off her tongue as it always did. 

"Thing will be using a drinks umbrella tonight, won't he?" Morticia nodded. 

"Indeed." Her face as well as that of grand-mamma's turning to one of confusion. 

"Opening umbrellas under a roof is unlucky." 

"That's right, it angers the sun-god." Grand-mammas statement only managed to confuse Pubert further. Never the less. 

"But those little drinks umbrellas are mainly opened indoors." Morticia grinned and gave a knowing nod. 

"Don't think too hard on it, little one. Your father had the same thought and shared it with your uncle Fester. They were stuck on the hypothetical implications of that one for hours with no satisfying conclusion." Only a second or two later they heard said father call down the hall. 

"Tish!" 

"Speaking of. In the kitchen mon cher!" Morticia called back. The sound of heavy foot steps was followed by Gomez quickly entering the kitchen and almost running to his raven haired wife. Taking her wrist and placing traveling kisses up her arm. 

"Oh Tish. You know what french does to me." Morticia gave a fond quirked smile as her husband continued his assault on her arm, travelling to her neck. 

"I'm sorry my love. What were you calling about?" Remembering himself, Gomez straighten up. 

"Ah yes. Do you remember when we bought those one-hundred million shares of that company Apple?" The group nodded. It was the same day that they visited the Queens Poison distillery. The absinthe distillery was where they had heard about the company in the first place. "It turns out that Apple isn't even related to Queens Poison absinthe. It's a computer company." Morticia looked surprised while Pubert and Grand-mamma looked confused. "My thoughts exactly. I thought they were by the same parent company or at least corporate friends; both inspired by that fairy tale. You know the one, where the beautiful queen works hard to be beautiful but has her title taken by some brat with no brains?" 

"Snow white?" Puberts mind was racing between confusion and skepticism. 

"Yes that's the one. I guess no one at the distillery actually said what the company was, just said it was making the news and could be big." Pubert opened his mouth to question his father. Had he really not known? Pubert could see the path Gomez had taken but the man owned quite a number of stocks in a company he knew nothing about. Before a word could come out, Pubert gave a quiet breathy gasp and closed his mouth, deciding he could do without the confirmation. "Anyway, so I guess the company is doing well but I have to decide if I want to keep shares in a computer company that has nothing to do with absinthe." Again his fathers mind astounded him, but he let it go. 

"Computers are those things that's a television mixed with a typewriter right?" Clearly Puberts and his grandmothers confusions had been completely different. Wide eyed and without saying a word, he leaned over to give his grandmother a kiss on the forehead before walking over to his father to do the same. He gave his mothers hand a quick squeeze and he left the room. 

His eyes still wide, Pubert walked to the family dining room and library to begin setting the table; trying with all his might not to become trapped in the swirling vortex that was the minds of his loved ones. One would go crazy that way; while that sounded quite lovely, he didn't have the time, someone had to get the old splintered table ready for dinner.


	3. Chapter 3: Time for dinner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Siblings come home and it's time for dinner.

The table set and dinner ready, there was nothing else to do but wait. Pubert was doing just that. In the powder room, he retouched his face in one of the least cracked mirrors in the house; his white eye liner had seemed to fade around his eyes through out the day but the reddish pink eye shadow at the corners and under them remained unsmudged. He was reapplying lip balm to his naturally pale lips as he heard someone come through the front door. Rounding the corner, Pubert stopped. His sister had entered the house and was waiting for their brother to come in behind her. 

Wednesday stood there, removing her coat, somber face as always, looking like she had come straight from a corporate office where she had made everyone cry. Slim black slacks, fitted black button up, tailored black jacket and black stilettos that could definitely stab a person. If Wednesday wasn't the epitome of boss bitch, then the style didn't exist. Pubert was in awe. Pugsley on the other hand, with his full long brunette beard, twirled mustache and grey pinstriped suit; looked like he just come from an old timey mustache convention. Pubert sighed with a smile. 'truly marvelous.' 

"Hi, Wedwed." Pubert said with a soft smile, walking up to his older sister to give her a hug, one which she only lightly reciprocated. "Welcome home." 

"Good evening Pubert. Must you always be so informal." While Wednesday and Pugsley had eventually grown use to their originally unwanted younger brother and would allow him the affection he requested of them, his language was the one thing that had given them unease and Pubert knew it. He smiled at his sisters discomfort and gave a light chuckle. 

"Only to see you squirm dear sister." To this, Wednesday quirked her brow and allowed the smallest grin of admiration to cross her face. Responding with a wide smile of his own, Pubert let her go, giving Pugsley a pat on the back as the three moved into living room. Pugsley lighting his usual cigar and Wednesday making her way to the lamp lit snake tank next to one of the large chairs in the middle of the room. 

"Hello Monday, are you enjoying your sun lamp?" Monday looked to her adopted mother, hissing a happy reply. "Would my little Red bellied black snake like to join us for dinner?" Hearing the word dinner, the small snake wriggled with happiness inside her glass terrarium. Opening the lid, Wednesday reached in, allowing Monday to curl around her hand before being lifted to her mothers neck where she slid under the collar, wrapping herself nice and snug with only her head and the tip of her tail peeking out of shirt. Wednesday stroked Mondays head lightly as the little black snake settled. 

"If you two are settled enough," Pubert addressed his siblings. "you might be seated in the family dining room. Thing?" Within a moment, the hand was out of one of his many tunnel boxes and 'standing' at attention. "Thing, could you be a dear and gather the adults while I gather dinner? Grand-mamma should still be in the kitchen to help." With a thumbs up, thing closed the boxes lid and was off. "Thank you thing." Pubert called after him. ... 

Eight previously shattered black plates sat around the rectangular table. The golden glue holding them together catching the candles light as they flickered around the room. Black napkins, gold cutlery, black to clear ombre wine glasses and a rustic cake stand sat on the old wooden table as the gritty gas mask Pubert picked up in Chernobyl sat on top of the stand, completing the aesthetic. 

"Such a lovely table, Pubert." Morticia said as the group began finishing their Foxglove soup. 

"Indeed." Grand-mamma agreed before looking pointedly at the gas mask. "Is this still radioactive?" The statement punctuated by the stab of Wednesdays for as she skewered part of the rat that was plated next to her bowl. Pubert shook his head. 

"No, unfortunately not, they wouldn't let me take anything that was." His mother gave a thoughtful nod. Wednesday lifting the flesh to Monday, who was still lying around her neck, also gave a nod, remembering her own experiences with radio-active material. 

"Well that is part of the draw." Morticia said in a gentle and understanding manner. "Can't let people just take part of what makes a place so special. Of course it would still have the history and the beautiful view but they would lose alot of visitors." The family nodded in agreement. 

"Still a shame though." Pugsley chimed in, again the family nodded in agreement. 

"Well at least I have one child that is a ne'er-do-well. Leaching off his families money to do as he pleases." Pugsley and Wednesday made faces of distain at their fathers comments, while Pubert just looked confused. 

"While it's a very flattering label father, I am not sure it's entirely true. While I do live of the family money, I like to think of myself more of a wealthy house wife who travels as she wishes." Puberts contemplativness was noted by his mother, grandmother and aunt Dementia who looked to each other before humming their agreement to his statement. 

"Besides, father," Wednesday began. always being the more assertive of the two older siblings. "Pugsley and I don't work office jobs for the money. We work freelance because we love the fields." Pugsley nodded as Wednesdays stern voice carried her sentiments across the room. "At university, I got to explore every deadly virus and micro organism I could get my hands on and thanks to my biochemistry masters, chemical engineering masters and my microbiology doctorate, I am currently 'researching' strains of rabies that are only available through homeland security. Do you remember when we tried to have that rabies infected turtle smuggled in two years ago? Even uncle Crusty couldn't get it, but now I can." 

"And even if I did my masters in engineering because I had to," Pugsley continued, looking at his fathers grouched face. "now my corkscrew bullet is available to every turf war in the world. People happily participating in violence is one of the things this family values." 

"He's right you know Gomez." Uncle Fester chimed in to his nephews defense. "They might not be lazy, good for nothing, scroungers like our father expected us to be, but times change. There are enough millionaire trust fund lay abouts that the kids aren't harming anything if they play industry for a while." Gomez's face relaxed as he sighed before giving a small hum. 

"You are right children, sometimes it is just difficult to separate what our parents expected of us and what we should expect of you. And despite your schooling, we are all very proud of what you have achieved." Gomez lifted his glass of deep red wine. "True Addam's prodigies." Grand-mamma, Morticia, Uncle Fester, Aunt Dementia and Pubert raised their glasses, is salute to the elder siblings. 

"True Addam's." They all cheered together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mon chaton is suppoose to be kitten in French.  



	4. Chapter 4: Luck and a scary movie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The family participates in Friday the thirteenth activities and watch a scary movie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Full disclosure  
I know wasps don't make honey and I have never seen titanic.  
Wasn't sure how to format the poem.

Fester was the first to finish dinner and dessert and was practically bouncing in his seat, waiting for the rest of the family to finish, as Monday was curled up in Wednesdays pocket having a snooze. 

As the rest of the family slowly did finish, Morticia went to the bar at the end of the room to gather and pour eight glasses of absinthe before placing one in front of each family member as Pubert removed plates. Finished, Morticia stood behind her seat and prompted her family to do the same. Raising her glass. 

"Dread to some, silly to others. 

To us, it's always brought joy. 

The events tonight, 

not spite nor fright, 

to which we shan't be coy. 

To the Friday the eenth, 

that has no rhyme, 

and brings us luck aplenty 

we celebrate night 

of thirteenth, our plight 

Be few and also many. 

Happy Friday the thirteenth, cheers." A chorus of cheers rang throughout the room as they group clinked their glasses and sipped before following Grand-mamma out of the room. 

Into the moonroom, each walked under the ladder on the other side of the door before taking their places in the circle of objects around the room. 

"Why isn't Lurch joining us tonight?" Pugsley inquired as the family settled. 

"He and Làbour are on a romantic anniversary dinner. They are having dinner at Alcatraz and staying in the deepest part of the Red Woods." Morticia replied. 

"Oh Tish," Gomez started as he made his way over to his wife. "remember that night in the Black Forest after we bought those shares in the Queens Poison absinthe?" He began to adoringly kiss her hand. "The moon lit trees, sparkling with frost as we lay breathless in the snow." His kisses traveling higher. "You were barely visible, your skin so pale."(can be removed if obvious enough) 

"Gomez, family time now, laying in the snow later." Morticia said with her usual seductive draw. Gomez returned to his place before she continued. "Mamma, would you please?" The woman nodded before beginning. 

"Umbrella's we open," The croaky voice of the Frump matriarch rang through the room. One by one, following the circle, everyone grabbed their umbrellas and opened them. Even Thing, with his cocktail umbrella. "salt shaker knocked down," placing the open umbrellas down. They each turned to the table next to them that held their salt shakers, mirrors and horse shoes and lightly backhanded the salt shaker. "mirrors we smash" The high pitch sound of glass shattering filled the room like a shortly lived orchestra. "and horseshoes with frown." Taking the horseshoes off their stands, they were turned upside down. The room was filled with Addams family own unique brand of chuckles and smiles, even Wednesday gave her own toned down cheer of joy. 

Once the merriment died down but the family still held smiles on their faces they all agreed to continue the nights activities as a family. 

"How about a horror movie?" Pubert suggested. 

"Oh no," His mother objected. "they always end so bright and happily." 

"Don't worry." Pubert reassured her hushedly, as to not give anything away to the rest of his family. "It ends in freezing water, pointless death and the recovery of a blood jewel." Morticia looked skeptical for a moment before nodding her approval. ... 

Thunder began rolling outside as the group gathered into the room to begin Titanic. Fester and Dementia sharing one love seat, Gomez and Morticia sharing another as Grand-mamma and the children shared the main couch, everyone snuggled under several tattered quilts, passed down through out the centuries. 

They passed around salted sun-dried maggots as the ship set sail, appalled at the taste in finery, groaned and ate wasp honey roasted brussel sprout hearts as Rose exclaimed she was flying and were thoroughly entrapped as they watched the Titanic sink into the freezing sea. By the time the movie ended, Morticia was giving her youngest son a slight scowl. He had not warned her about the plot twist at the end. The woman had a bright life and died in her sleep peacefully. Every Addams worst nightmare. 

His mother may have been mad but Pubert couldn't help but snicker.

**Author's Note:**

> I own nothing.  
Thank you to my sister and friends for work shopping ideas  
Thank you to my sister for editing  
Thanks for reading.  
Inspiration pinterest board: https://pin.it/xyjn4pol3ffe57


End file.
